IF YOU HAVE BRAINS IN YOUR HEAD
YOU HAVE FEET IN YOUR SHOES
YOU CAN STEER YOURSELF ANY
DIRECTION YOU CHOOSE.
Dr. Seuss
My new Physical Therapist started last week. Besides he is... shall we say the equivalent to a medieval torturer, I really like him. I mean get this, he's on time! No shit, every Tuesday and Thursday he is here at 8:30!! He comes in, starts the torture, 45 minutes later he's gone! I hadn't cried until today when he pulled out the Hoyer Lift. Guess every time a new contraption comes along I have to cry like a big fat titty baby. Every time, just about the time you think you have everything figured out, you don't. This Shit Ass Disease just loves to get you comfortable than bitch slap you right across the face! Ahh you poor thing, I'll be gentle (laughing under its ugly breath) then here is a Hoyer Lift...ha ha ha ha suuuccccker!
I also went to see a Rheumatologist for my crab claw. What a fuck fest that was from the start. 40 minutes of paperwork (already emailed them all 17 pages of doctor reports) but who knows where they are? Silly little people. This particular doctor is in with three general practitioners, uh first mistake! Sitting in a room full of sick people, by the way they have a sign at check in that says "If you have a sneeze or cough please put mask on" and you look around the room full of 50 people and not one has a mask on, but plenty of sneezing and coughs. I finally got called back to the room where we answered the same questions for another 40 minutes before, oh wait... just a minute, after the last question was answered the silly little people found the 17 pages!! So we waited another 20 minutes for Dr. Boobalishous. I am not kidding all but the nips were flowing like two watermelons ready to pop, and no guys I am not giving you her name, she was not hot. My husband didn't seem to mind at all though? She asked me three or four questions, said she wanted blood work, which they would take there and x rays I could get next door. If the test did not show anything, she would see me in two weeks. You heard me right, two weeks. So this crab claw that feels broken, I'll just wait a couple more weeks. NO BIG DEAL!
Oh it doesn't end there. We waited for the blood sucker nurse for 40 minutes, when she finally came to the door and said , "Are you waiting on blood"? At this point I wanted to get up and slap her but, a. I can't get up and, b. she was really big. She proceeds to tell us we have to come to the nurses station to get blood work. Someone forgot to share that little tidbit 40 minutes ago or leave a crystal ball in the room! So we go to the nurses station and she is getting her 1,000 vials out, I look down and there is a vial with blood in it on the floor. Well I wasn't about to say a word, this pissy amazon was getting ready to stick a needle in my arm, sooooooo I waited until she had ever so gently stabbed my arm, let her fill a few of the vials then ever so nicely pointed out there was a vile of blood on the floor. Her response kind of, well rather took me a back, "Yes I know, there's no blood in it". Well I looking right at it and there sure the hell was blood in it. First of all if "she knew" why the hell didn't she pick it up! So by the time I got the x rays I was there 4 1/2 hours.
You thought this story was over? Oh no, no, remember the sign at the check in desk, the one about the mask? Well apparently that sign should have said, "If you don't want to get a sneeze or a cough, wear mask" Yes I am on week three of the worst bug I have had in a long time! I will spare you the snotty details but it isn't pretty. That's another gift from the Shit Ass Disease when you get sick it likes to cuddle up, tell you stories, give you back rubs so it hangs around a week or two longer.
So after not receiving a call from Dr. Boobalishous, I went to my appointment two weeks later. They tell you to be there 15 minutes early, which I did. 1 hour and 15 minutes later I am still sitting there (with a mask on this time), in a room full of snotty sick people. I know you all feel the same way I do. Why do doctors feel there time is more valuable than yours. Then the people that were in front of us, and three people behind in line said they had been there an hour and half. Stick a fucking fork in me I am done! So my husband goes to the window and tells them were done and leaving. The sweet little receptionist, OK Mr. Cook just let us know where you want your records sent.
So here I am, crab claw in all its glory. I called two other Rheumatologist and there first appointments are three month out, wa- wah :-(
Oh it doesn't end there. We waited for the blood sucker nurse for 40 minutes, when she finally came to the door and said , "Are you waiting on blood"? At this point I wanted to get up and slap her but, a. I can't get up and, b. she was really big. She proceeds to tell us we have to come to the nurses station to get blood work. Someone forgot to share that little tidbit 40 minutes ago or leave a crystal ball in the room! So we go to the nurses station and she is getting her 1,000 vials out, I look down and there is a vial with blood in it on the floor. Well I wasn't about to say a word, this pissy amazon was getting ready to stick a needle in my arm, sooooooo I waited until she had ever so gently stabbed my arm, let her fill a few of the vials then ever so nicely pointed out there was a vile of blood on the floor. Her response kind of, well rather took me a back, "Yes I know, there's no blood in it". Well I looking right at it and there sure the hell was blood in it. First of all if "she knew" why the hell didn't she pick it up! So by the time I got the x rays I was there 4 1/2 hours.
You thought this story was over? Oh no, no, remember the sign at the check in desk, the one about the mask? Well apparently that sign should have said, "If you don't want to get a sneeze or a cough, wear mask" Yes I am on week three of the worst bug I have had in a long time! I will spare you the snotty details but it isn't pretty. That's another gift from the Shit Ass Disease when you get sick it likes to cuddle up, tell you stories, give you back rubs so it hangs around a week or two longer.
So after not receiving a call from Dr. Boobalishous, I went to my appointment two weeks later. They tell you to be there 15 minutes early, which I did. 1 hour and 15 minutes later I am still sitting there (with a mask on this time), in a room full of snotty sick people. I know you all feel the same way I do. Why do doctors feel there time is more valuable than yours. Then the people that were in front of us, and three people behind in line said they had been there an hour and half. Stick a fucking fork in me I am done! So my husband goes to the window and tells them were done and leaving. The sweet little receptionist, OK Mr. Cook just let us know where you want your records sent.
So here I am, crab claw in all its glory. I called two other Rheumatologist and there first appointments are three month out, wa- wah :-(
And please remember to join or donate to this walk I realize we already pay a gazillion dollars on other stupid stuff but this one is really important to me.
Dear Friends and Family,
I am participating in the Walk to Defeat ALS® to do my part in the fight against Lou Gehrig’s Disease. Why don't you join my team? The more Walkers we have, the merrier, and the better for the mission of The ALS Association. We need people like you on my team.
Your participation in the Walk will make a difference in the lives of those affected by ALS. Think about the ways that The ALS Association has impacted those around you. The money we raise will help The ALS Association support global research, assist people with ALS, fund multidisciplinary certified clinical care centers, and foster government partnerships. Each dollar we contribute will make a difference! The ALS Association builds hope and enhances quality of life while aggressively searching for new treatments and a cure.
We need your support, so please do anything you can! If you can't join my team, please consider making a donation to support my efforts.
Thank you so much and we look forward to seeing you at the Walk!
http://webtx.alsa.org/site/TR?team_id=338770&pg=team&fr_id=11041&s_tafId=266999
Crab claw on.... Sue "CiCi" Cook |
No comments:
Post a Comment