Buying a House .....Things I Hate.

"People selling houses suck ass"
                                    Sue Cook

You have probably read my blog about what a wonderful and beautiful daughter I have.  She sold her house to be closer to me once I was diagnosed with the Shit Ass Disease. She rented a house with a year contract which is up in May. She started looking at houses a couple months ago.  Her landlord informed her today he was going to sell the house, so she will be looking for a new home. I don't blame her landlord, he is doing what everyone else is doing.... selling a house in one day. 

At this point she has put 3 or 4 contracts on houses and hasn't come close to getting one.  She even bid $5000 over on the last one and the realtor told her she was beaten by a lot!  Thanks realtor, way to go on pricing your listings. What the fuck people! You (realtors) price a house, hopefully by comps and there is a war to out bid the other person.  If the house doesn't appraise then the people will pay cash for the difference. INSANITY!!! The only thing I have heard crazier is years ago when California had a lottery to buy a house. At least if there was a lottery you would have a chance!  She has even attached a letter with each offer to tell them why she is needing a house (my Shit Ass Disease) and the predicament she finds herself in.  You think those lovely people would at least let her match or exceed the bid. Not these fuck faces. Highest bid wins, the rest of you can go to hell. There is a thing called karma people, just saying.

AND just let me just add most of these houses are fugly.  I mean they haven't been updated in twenty years.   Dog piss stains on the carpet SOLD,  pool falling apart, twenty year old equipment SOLD, purple walls, green walls, gold walls, multi-colored walls all in the same house with dog piss SOLD! I mean I get selling your house in one day, I even get selling it for top dollar, but what I don't get is not giving a person with this much tragedy in their life  a chance.  So in my opinion (which is the only one that counts) you people suck.

So you people that have not been bothered to help a person out... fuck you.  And for those of your considering selling your house have a heart. For the most part I know people are good and kind.  Just happen to come across a few assholes.

Pissed...

Sue "CiCi" Cook

Doors...Things I Love

"We often look at the closing door of our past for so long that we miss seeing a new door of happiness opening in from of us""

Unknown

COLORED FRONT DOORS

Don't you just love front doors, especially colored front doors?  Well if you don't maybe a few of these will change your mind.  Although there are a million different architecture's here, a painted front door can make a huge change.  Choosing a color can be challenging so here are a few choices to consider.

 REDS

 

PINKS

  

 

BLUES

GREENS
  

 

ORANGE

YELLOW

  

These are just a few options, hope this inspired you to get out and paint your front door. I drove by a house the other day and their front door was a deep coral.  It was gorgeous, doesn't sound like it but it was.  So buy a few paint samples, slap them on your front door, stand back at the curb and choose one.  Simple.

Paint on........

Sue "CiCi" Cook

Tennis.....Things I Love

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get I'll never be as good as a wall"

                                                                                                                      Mitch Hedberg

Tennis, tennis, tennis, what a game I loved and hated all at the same time.  It's the only "sport" I ever really played.  I would rather spend two hours on the court then 45 minutes in the gym. Let me take that back since I have the Shit Ass Disease I would even take the gym.  That being said, there is competitive tennis, fun tennis and tennis.  The sport where it is usually your partners fault for a loss and your efforts when it is a win.  I played with one girl who would only play forehand, would not serve in the sun and would never serve first. Maybe that was my problem (other than talent) I should have had my own rules.  I will serve and plant my feet in the garden one foot behind the baseline, you cover everything else unless I get a forehand down the line. Well come to think of it that is what I did, I just didn't lay the rules out before hand.  I really liked playing more for the lunch, wine and stories after the match.

 Me and my partner.

The opposing team, now this is where the real fun begins.  You will see every trick and then some. I was in the middle of serving and my opponent yelled from across the court "You are foot faulting honey".  One of the pros was watching the match and looked at me and said. "Tell her, her hair is ugly"!   One of my favorite tennis bitch stories is from a good friend.  I guess there was a lot of tension through the match, and my friend was getting ready to serve the ball, when her opponent yelled "Serve the freaken ball"!  My friend bounced the ball for a second and yelled back, "KISS.....MY.......ASS" to the response of her opponent "I'm going to report you for swearing"  My friend really doesn't have a potty mouth but I would have said "Kiss my fucking ass"!  I still laugh every time I think about it. I guess "freaken" isn't swearing!  Then there was the time our team mates lost, when they shook hands one of the girls from our team said,  "I thought we stopped lobbing on double digit teams". (The higher the number the lower the team, level one is the big girls, level 15 is the lower levels) Then the team they were playing was complaining to our team captain, and the girl that made the remark was standing behind her sticking out her tongue and had her thumbs in her ears wiggling them. Then one of our team mates had a question about a rule, she pulled out her rule book and gave it to the the opponent.  The opponent read the rule and threw the book on the ground.  By the way it was a Jewish center we were playing at.  Our team mate told her to pick up the book, then looked at her and said, "Can't we just be Christian about this".

Team, yes matching everything.

Then there's the clothes.  Let's start with the William's sisters.  How do they make clothes so tight and so fugly for those bodies?

SERENA

I can hear that fabric crying as we speak.

I mean really? If I had ever come across a player with those arms, I would have cried and handed over my racket. And forget being a line judge, when this person tells you they are going to shove a ball down their fucking throat.....I would eat the ball and say thank you for lunch.

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Oops did my skirt blow up?

VENUS

 What can I possibly say?

 What can I possibly say?

What can I possibly say?

Then there is the great bodies of tennis. The bodies that make tennis worth watching, oh yeah and the competition.

NADAL

 Sweet boy!

 What can I possibly say?

VERDASCO

Great tennis player!

Wonder what kind of tennis racket that is?

BECKHAM

 Tennis/Soccer who cares?

What can I possibly say?

Selfie!

You just have to love tennis.  I have Happy Hours every few weeks with my girls and the stories go on and on.  It really is a great sport, despite the few (laughing) issues that come along with it.  I meet some GREAT people that are friends for life.  I loved  "almost" every second of playing and wish I was still on the court.

My friends and I went to a "senior" showdown in Dallas this week.  We saw Andy Roddick, John McEnroe, Jim Courier and Mark Philippoussis. Fun tennis to watch and the wine and beer were pretty good as well!  So if you don't play tennis, go watch a match it might make you want to start.


Play on.......
Sue "CiCi" Cook

Housekeepers...Things I love

"My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
                                                                      Erma Bombeck

I love having housekeepers!  Who knew that having a housekeeper is the next best thing to wine? I could do without the speaking in a foreign language, knowing they are probably making fun of me.   I mean hell if I was in their shoes I would be calling me a cow and smiling.  "How are you today Ms. Susie". When I know they are saying "Not this bitches house again"!  Being a designer, I have worked in the construction business for years and years.  Walking into a house, I just knew the talk was about me. "Look at that snobby bitch, oh no not her again, she wants us to change what"?  You think I would learn the language but as you can probably guess all I can do is swear, that really wouldn't get me far in getting what I want.

I really wish I had a full time housekeeper.  I can see it now, no cat hair fluff on the floor, no dirty dishes, clean sheets everyday!  We would become best friends and I would learn the language.  If it were me though, I would totally screw this person up.  Good thing (in more ways than one, I'm not teaching English).  For instance: Hello how are you today. I would teach: Your face looks like a monkeys ass.  Then I would sit back and watch the reaction. Maybe that is why I haven't tried to learn the language, fear that I would learn from someone just like me. But back to my new best friend....

Everyday at 4:00 p.m. my new best friend (Mary) would bring us a cocktail.

While having a glass or two we would make fun of my husband, the people at the grocery store and anything/anyone else we could think of.  We would talk about things we saw earlier driving around in the fucking minivan. Do each others hair and makeup, then it would be time for her to go home. I'm going to miss my new best friend until she comes back the next day.  I love my new best friend Mary!

The next day we would go over to my third cousin on my Father's sides trailer and share a shot or two of whiskey.  Of course we get there via fucking minivan.  Cousin Fred's next door neighbor will come by to say hello.  

These are the lamps that Mary and I made.  It was her idea to add the candy for the babies.

Finally we will have a little fruit in the back yard, it is getting hot now.

OK, so that's my adventures with my new best friend Mary.  I wish everyone could have a Mary in their life's.  Hell I wish I could have a Mary in my life.  But for now I will see her every other week and not a word will be understood by either of us.


Clean on.....
Sue "CiCi" Cook