Potty Mouth...Things I Love

"Because sometimes "gosh darn" and "meanie head" just don't cover it"

The reason I haven't been blogging is because of Trivia Crack.  If you haven't played it don't unless you don't want to get anything else done.  They picked the perfect name with Crack.  It has some of the most ridiculous questions than one that who knows what it is!  But I am addicted, there I said it. So if you don't hear from me for a few days it's because of Crack.

So the real purpose of this blog is that I have been told I have a potty mouth, NO SHIT!!  That is one of the advantages of having the Shit Ass Disease.  Not that I didn't always talk like this, I just wouldn't have said it on a blog.  But let me tell you it is freeing. Plus it gets my point across.  How would it sound to say "the shucky darn mini van or ALS"?  It sound ridiculous is what it sounds like. I guess I could have called ALS "amyotrophic lateral sclerosis".  Fuck that, it is a Shit Ass Disease. PERIOD. Just like the mini van is a fucking mini van.  I'm sorry no sane person that doesn't have a shit pile of kids, or needs it for work wants to drive a fucking mini van, if you do I apologize, kinda.

Using the word fuck is just one of those words that sums it up, get's your point across in an instant. Of course you cant use it in front of your children or grandchildren, it's a grown up word. I know the reason I started this  blog was for my grand babies to know me someday, by the time their mother lets them read it I am sure they will have heard these words and know that their CiCi was a "potty mouth". They will also know that I loved them more than life.

Who became the word police anyway?  It's OK to say freaken, oh sugar or oh spit. Really if your going to say freaken man up and just say fuck! There are a word or two that I don't like but they are insulting to women period. Call me a hypocrite fine,  I won't call you a c...t!  The same word police are the same people that came up with "Potty Mouth".   I mean come on people they are just words,

This is my opinion of course and of course the only one that matters to me.  I don't care if other people say "bad words" or not. I'm open to either way, it just happens to be something I do.  I would have loved to thrown a "Your fucking awesome" to a client or two,  just like I would have wanted to tell a few I thought they were total douche bags.  But I didn't, shucky darn!  See even shucky darn sounds like shit.   So I will continue to use my "potty mouth" as I see fit. I do have the Shit Ass Disease and it's my prerogative


As the late comedian George Carlin did a whole routine on the categories people have come up with for dirty words, just made me laugh out loud:

Bad, dirty, filthy, vile, foul, vulgar, course, in poor taste, unseemly, street talk, gutter talk, locker room language, barracks talk, body, naughty, saucy, raunchy, rude, crude, lewd, indecent, profane, obscene, blue, off color, risque, suggestive, and swearing,  He left out potty mouth!

So next time you stubb your toe and yell out oh spit or MOTHER FUCKER your OK by me.


Potty mouth on...
Sue "CiCi" Cook

Portland......

"It's better to see a place once than hear about it a thousand times"

Portland, Oregon has a special place in my heart and a dagger at the same time.  It is one of the most beautiful cities,  I think in the world.  I have been there to visit my son Chase on 3 occasions while he was in college, once to attend his funeral and once to attend the most amazing art show of his work.  I'm not trying to make this post sad, although it is, I am just remembering a beautiful city that I would not have ever experienced without Chase.

Now Portland is for the free spirited, tattooed and artistic people.  All of which I love, all which describes Chase.  So let me show you some of the reasons I think Portland is so beautiful.

ROSE GARDENS

MULTNOMAH FALLS

Multnomah Falls is absolutely breath taking.  If I remember correctly it's like twenty minutes from downtown.  The PICture of Chase and I are at these falls from 1998.  It is also the falls from the book The Shack (great book by the way).  So take a trip through Multnomah Falls.

OTHER BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN PORTLAND.

So since I have the Shit Ass Disease there won't be anymore trips but this is just an example of one of the places that I got to experience and thought was worth seeing.

Flower, Peace and love on...

Sue "CiCi" Cook

Rolling.....Things I Hate

"I am in a wheelchair.  It's not who I am, It's just how I get around"

WHEEL-CHAIRING

Wow who would have known that being in a wheelchair was such a freak show on wheels?  I mean for years I walked like everyone else, but the minute you are in a wheelchair your looked at so much different.  Some people are very kind, some people are just ass holes and some people talk to you like your mentally disabled (well that's debatable), or like you are a baby, "Are you OK honey" in a baby voice. I really should answer, "Goo goo gaa gaa" and crack up.  I just wish people treated me the bitch I was before the wheelchair!

Then there is maneuvering the son of a bitch.  Like I said before I have taken out every wall, piece of furniture and anything that I actually have to pass on this wheelchair.  I also told you about the fucking mini van that the side ramp comes down, the van lowers on one side and Low Rider comes on the radio.  Well we took it a step further.  When we purchase said fucking mini van it had four straps on the floor that hooked on to the wheelchair to hold it place.  It was a pain in the ass.  So we got a "automatic" bolt thingy and its great.  That is if you can hit the damn thing.  You have to go up said ramp, turn immediately at a 90 degree angle and hit a 4"x 6" box with a weird looking tongue thing and hit it going 20 miles an hour so it hits hard and locks, right before you go through the dash! Awesome! This just keeps getting better and better!!

Next transformation to make sure I can hit the box in the fucking mini van.

SHIT ASS DISEASE IS A FULL TIME JOB.

Why is it that not only the Shit Ass Disease is a full time job but then you have the rules on top of it! Literately, take a pill an hour before you eat in the morning, take 5 pills with breakfast, blow in a Expiratory Muscle Strength Trainer 5 times a day, do upper body and lower body exercises (which is hilarious when you have no muscle), eat lunch watched by the food police, take pills with dinner, again watched by the food police.  Hell I worked less at my job and the only food police was myself.
You are supposed to eat all the things you like, you have no appetite.  This is what the nutritionist told me last time I saw him... eat ice cream, shakes, nachos with sour cream and guacamole, donuts, chicken fried steak with gravy, it just went on and on,  Now I eat like a bird and not a vulture.  The last thing I want is ice cream or a shake.  But here is the funny part (not funny ha ha, but pisses me off ironic) I'm fat.  My middle is just rolls upon rolls.  Now granted I was pretty active before this Shit Ass Disease, but really rolls???  You would think I ate ice cream from morning to night. No one says a word, which is sweet but weird. I don't know how you go from a pretty fit person to a blob in one year.  Can't imagine if I was a blob to start with?  Double blob flop?

So isn't it odd that after a whole life of caring what I ate to  having the gift of eating anything I want I don't have a appetite! Ha ha funny God!  I'll show you I will not eat and gain another roll!  Now my 2 glasses of wine may have something to do with it? Granted they are medium/large pours, but rolls, I mean rolllllllllllllllls?  I guess if it causes a roll or two or ten then so be it. What am I going to do about it, run a few miles, or not drink wine, ha same chance!

So the moral of the story is to let go and live your life.  Wheelchair so what, fat so what I still have an amazing family and friends and wine.

Fuck it let's go to the beach.

Rolllllllllllllll on....
Sue "CiCi" Cook

Friends, Family and Good People...Things I Love

"There are some people in life that make you laugh a little louder,  smile a little bigger and live just a   little bit better".

                                                         

Since getting the Shit Ass Disease I have had plenty of time to feel sorry for myself.  I fell a couple weeks ago (shit damn it all to hell) and was pretty depressed.  I had been doing so well then out of the blue, transferring on my half assed good leg, I fell.  Then my husband trying to get me back in the chair, he grunts, I'm embarrassed, pissed and want to crawl in a hole. Anyway a new nurse came a few days later and asked me how I was doing and the floods came. I ugly cried, couldn't talk for a few minutes then finally told her it was because of the fall. "I was doing so well, sniff, sniff then I fucking fall"  She said it was OK and natural to feel that way, but that I needed to suck it up. She said "There is no guarantee she or anyone else will be here tomorrow, you have a beautiful family and that is what you need to focus on and enjoy, not dwelling on a fall". Well she was absolutely right.  I fell again the other day and same old, same old, my husband had to pick me up, put me back in the chair and grunted, making me feel like such a feminine, petite little thing. Falls are always so graceful too. It was a fall, fuck it, I'm sure it won't be the last.

Now let's talk about other good people.  My friends put together a web site where people can sign up and bring dinner 2 nights a week.  How sweet is that???  People have signed up, brought fabulous meals, dessert and some have even brought WINE! Yes WINE! One person, brought chicken and dumplings, cake and the most beautiful pink hydrangeas, oh yeah I have never even met her. That is how good people are.  Not to mention my friends that will come to my house for happy hours because it is hard for me to go anywhere.  My friends don't come empty handed, NO, NO, NO not my friends, they bring appetizers, dinner, desert and wine!  One of my dearest friends feel's bad because I just stay in my pajamas (poor me, I'm to fat to get into anything else) for happy hours, so she wears pajamas and brings me pajamas. Shut the fuck up!  Last night my friends brought dinner, wine and Andy the nail tech to do my nails! Shut the fuck up again!  Isn't it amazing how caring and fabulous people can be. I highly recommend my friends, but they are already taken. To bad, so sad (I didn't say I was one of those nice people).

Family.  I have a very small family.  My Mom and Bob, they live in Florida, I live in Texas.  Channa, her husband Justin, my grand kids E and T., and my husband. That's it.  I have already told you how amazing Channa is.  But she just keeps doing and doing for me. When we went to my birthday dinner the other night she even did my hair and makeup. She cooks for me, takes me to and brings lunch over and most importantly brings the babies over to see me! But, she is my best friend and I love her more than air.  My son in law drives 3 1/2 hours to McKinney every Friday then back on Sunday night to see his wife and kids.  My mom just came in for my birthday, cooked every night, and all that goes with that.  My husband hadn't put a dish in the dishwasher, did a load of laundry, cleaned or really even knew where the kitchen was in the house for 40 years,  Now he does it all.

You know people care about you.  You get through day by day living your life.  Loving your friends and family but not actually appreciating them like you really should until the Shit Ass Disease comes along and kicks you in the ass.  I will never take one of them for granted again. So if there is a moral to this story, don't take your family and friends for granted.  Live like you  have the Shit Ass Disease (not literally) but you know what I mean. Don't wait to have a happy hour at your house and wear your pajamas, take dinner to a friend just because, bring one, two or six bottles of wine to someone.  I am blessed beyond blessed to have the people in my life.  So to hell with the Shit Ass Disease, it's just part of my life.

Blessed.
Sue "CiCi" Cook

Birthdays..... Things I love

I really did use to hate birthdays, that is until I got the Shit Ass Disease.  Now I have discovered they are a privilege!  Who knew? I mean I never looked at it but getting older. This  birthday I looked at it as surviving and enjoying another year. To top it off, this was a great birthday.  My Mom and her boyfriend came in.  Now how many people do you know get to spend their birthdays with two great friends that also have the same birthday?  Me, me, I do, I do!  I got tons of cards, tons of flowers and tons of gifts. Wonder why I didn't like birthdays?  It took me 62 years to learn birthdays are God given joy not just getting older.

 Noreen, Me and Amy.  Crowns courtesy of another great friend Darla

Darla put this whole thing together.  There were 12 people, seated around a round table in a private room, with a great waiter, great wine and great friends and of course great family. Birthday cake and gifts oh my!  We are three lucky girls!

Me and my beautiful Channa! Looks like I grew a white stash?

Me, Noreen, Darla and Amy.  Amy started her cocktails a little before the rest of us!

Me. Amy (still the biggest smile), Noreen, Channa, my Mom and Darla.

What's a girl to do when the waiter pours you 2 glasses of wine?

I'm not sure if this is pole dancing or pointing out the handicap (fucking minivan) parking spot???

Any way it was a great birthday but more than that I got to spend it with people I love, people that constantly make me laugh, and are ALWLAYS there for me.  How lucky can a girl get?  So if I have no birthdays left or ten, that's really not what it is about. It's the people. The people you love and the people that love you.  Really that is what really matters.  So I wish each and everyone of you the love you deserve on your birthday and everyday.

Party on......

Sue "CiCi" Cook