Housekeepers...Things I love

"My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
                                                                      Erma Bombeck

I love having housekeepers!  Who knew that having a housekeeper is the next best thing to wine? I could do without the speaking in a foreign language, knowing they are probably making fun of me.   I mean hell if I was in their shoes I would be calling me a cow and smiling.  "How are you today Ms. Susie". When I know they are saying "Not this bitches house again"!  Being a designer, I have worked in the construction business for years and years.  Walking into a house, I just knew the talk was about me. "Look at that snobby bitch, oh no not her again, she wants us to change what"?  You think I would learn the language but as you can probably guess all I can do is swear, that really wouldn't get me far in getting what I want.

I really wish I had a full time housekeeper.  I can see it now, no cat hair fluff on the floor, no dirty dishes, clean sheets everyday!  We would become best friends and I would learn the language.  If it were me though, I would totally screw this person up.  Good thing (in more ways than one, I'm not teaching English).  For instance: Hello how are you today. I would teach: Your face looks like a monkeys ass.  Then I would sit back and watch the reaction. Maybe that is why I haven't tried to learn the language, fear that I would learn from someone just like me. But back to my new best friend....

Everyday at 4:00 p.m. my new best friend (Mary) would bring us a cocktail.

While having a glass or two we would make fun of my husband, the people at the grocery store and anything/anyone else we could think of.  We would talk about things we saw earlier driving around in the fucking minivan. Do each others hair and makeup, then it would be time for her to go home. I'm going to miss my new best friend until she comes back the next day.  I love my new best friend Mary!

The next day we would go over to my third cousin on my Father's sides trailer and share a shot or two of whiskey.  Of course we get there via fucking minivan.  Cousin Fred's next door neighbor will come by to say hello.  

These are the lamps that Mary and I made.  It was her idea to add the candy for the babies.

Finally we will have a little fruit in the back yard, it is getting hot now.

OK, so that's my adventures with my new best friend Mary.  I wish everyone could have a Mary in their life's.  Hell I wish I could have a Mary in my life.  But for now I will see her every other week and not a word will be understood by either of us.


Clean on.....
Sue "CiCi" Cook