Rolling.....Things I Hate

"I am in a wheelchair.  It's not who I am, It's just how I get around"

WHEEL-CHAIRING

Wow who would have known that being in a wheelchair was such a freak show on wheels?  I mean for years I walked like everyone else, but the minute you are in a wheelchair your looked at so much different.  Some people are very kind, some people are just ass holes and some people talk to you like your mentally disabled (well that's debatable), or like you are a baby, "Are you OK honey" in a baby voice. I really should answer, "Goo goo gaa gaa" and crack up.  I just wish people treated me the bitch I was before the wheelchair!

Then there is maneuvering the son of a bitch.  Like I said before I have taken out every wall, piece of furniture and anything that I actually have to pass on this wheelchair.  I also told you about the fucking mini van that the side ramp comes down, the van lowers on one side and Low Rider comes on the radio.  Well we took it a step further.  When we purchase said fucking mini van it had four straps on the floor that hooked on to the wheelchair to hold it place.  It was a pain in the ass.  So we got a "automatic" bolt thingy and its great.  That is if you can hit the damn thing.  You have to go up said ramp, turn immediately at a 90 degree angle and hit a 4"x 6" box with a weird looking tongue thing and hit it going 20 miles an hour so it hits hard and locks, right before you go through the dash! Awesome! This just keeps getting better and better!!

Next transformation to make sure I can hit the box in the fucking mini van.

SHIT ASS DISEASE IS A FULL TIME JOB.

Why is it that not only the Shit Ass Disease is a full time job but then you have the rules on top of it! Literately, take a pill an hour before you eat in the morning, take 5 pills with breakfast, blow in a Expiratory Muscle Strength Trainer 5 times a day, do upper body and lower body exercises (which is hilarious when you have no muscle), eat lunch watched by the food police, take pills with dinner, again watched by the food police.  Hell I worked less at my job and the only food police was myself.
You are supposed to eat all the things you like, you have no appetite.  This is what the nutritionist told me last time I saw him... eat ice cream, shakes, nachos with sour cream and guacamole, donuts, chicken fried steak with gravy, it just went on and on,  Now I eat like a bird and not a vulture.  The last thing I want is ice cream or a shake.  But here is the funny part (not funny ha ha, but pisses me off ironic) I'm fat.  My middle is just rolls upon rolls.  Now granted I was pretty active before this Shit Ass Disease, but really rolls???  You would think I ate ice cream from morning to night. No one says a word, which is sweet but weird. I don't know how you go from a pretty fit person to a blob in one year.  Can't imagine if I was a blob to start with?  Double blob flop?

So isn't it odd that after a whole life of caring what I ate to  having the gift of eating anything I want I don't have a appetite! Ha ha funny God!  I'll show you I will not eat and gain another roll!  Now my 2 glasses of wine may have something to do with it? Granted they are medium/large pours, but rolls, I mean rolllllllllllllllls?  I guess if it causes a roll or two or ten then so be it. What am I going to do about it, run a few miles, or not drink wine, ha same chance!

So the moral of the story is to let go and live your life.  Wheelchair so what, fat so what I still have an amazing family and friends and wine.

Fuck it let's go to the beach.

Rolllllllllllllll on....
Sue "CiCi" Cook