Peter Carey
"Swimming isn't for wimps"
Sue Cook
Try number one!
Whoopee summer is here...oh shit summers here. Yes summer is here and the pool is ready. Well sort of. Last year I could walk down the steps to the pool hanging on to the $1,000 rail we had installed. (Except for the fall from the top with a full glass of wine that flew. (Still pisses me off I lost a whole glass of wine, read prior post from a while back). Well this year I can't walk at all (part of the perks of having the Shit Ass Disease) so totally in a wheelchair the $1,000 rail is longer a help in fact a hindrance. So step number one remove $1,000 rail.
The normal person would get a pool lift and be done with it. Noooooooooooo not my husband, he decided a pool wheelchair would be a much better option... and a couple grand cheaper, nothing but the best for me. Now that would be great if you didn't have to go down 4 steps to get to the pool, then there is the 4 steps down into the pool. Oh by the way the first step is to small for the wheels on the wheelchair so I have to be dropped to the second step, Well he built a ramp that he (in theory) was going to push me in and the wheelchair would go ever so slowly down the ramp and I could float away, like an angel in slow motion and enjoy a little swim. Well in reality...I flew down the ramp at I'm guessing 150 miles per hour, landed face first and flopped around like a freshly caught fish. Don't worry I finally got control of myself and after spitting ten gallons of water had a decent swim.
Results of try number one!
Now will my husband give up? No way Jose! This afternoon he tried it again without the ramp! Yeah I love being a trail monkey! He put cinder blocks to help balance the steps (refer to above photo), you heard me right fucking cinder blocks. Nothing but the best for me again! Guess he figures after paying a $1,000 for a four foot rail that had to be removed, he will just stick to the simple things in life like cinder blocks. Well we tried this for about ten minutes, flopping me in and yanking me out, until he finally decided this was not going to work. See above photo.
Ha ha!
I almost drowned being a trail monkey so I guess we will have to try #3 on how to get me out of the pool. I told my husband if the cinder blocks didn't work he could always get some 2 x 4's and put a stereo on them, or even keep empty beer cans! I can see it now, a water wheelchair and stacked empty beer cans!! Well they didn't work. So if I want to get out of the pool at this point I am shit out of luck! Now he is going to pour some concrete, make his own cinder block that has an angle, Well shoot girl if this doesn't work than the angle will defiantly screw up my 2 x 4 for the stereo and beer cans, or at least the beer cans can get in and out of the pool.
The perks just never end with the Shit Ass Disease! We discovered getting in the pool with the wheelchair wasn't the problem at all, it's just getting me out. He finally discovered that if one person gets in the pool and lifts from the bottom while the other person pulls from the handle bars on the wheelchair (grunt, grunt) they can get me out. Again nothing but the best for me. This works sufficient IF you have two people to get you out. There is only two of that live here, so in the mean time I swim until I am a wrinkled prune, while he does his thing and maybe looks in the pool every now and then to make sure I haven't drowned. I guess I will be alright, so the fuck what if I am in the pool for 10 hours. I mean I wanted to swim so swim it is.
I will keep you updated on my getting out of the pool (grunt grunt) and how the Mike, self made cinder block works.............
Swim on, if you can...
Sue "CiCi" Cook
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